there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize