remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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