He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
