My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
