I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
