Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's official drugs can't kill me
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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