What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
