Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
