HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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