bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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