At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
