her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
