I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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