Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
