i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
