everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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