Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
