no, he came in my armpit
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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