She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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