Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
