just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
