I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
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