i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
