Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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