I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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