you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
