i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
