I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
