I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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