Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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