You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
