Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize