I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
