2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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