guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
