I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
