I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
