I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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