He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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