Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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