As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
