You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
