that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize