i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
