I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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