I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
