That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
