How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
