absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I currently don't understand fingers.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
