she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
