will power is for people who don't want to get laid
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
