i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
