All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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