in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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