Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize