sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
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