every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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