Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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