I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
