5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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