ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize