adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
