some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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