HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
