You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
