He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize