Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
its not stalking. its research.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
